Post by Badger on Aug 22, 2007 11:51:22 GMT -5
The Adventures of Piper the Peon
Chapter iv - The brewing of a storm-thing
"he-y.....gu......ys......ho...w........r......u......" - SpAdE
With a now considerable force under his command, Vickvire planned on their next move. While sitting in a separate room away from everyone, Vickvire heard a knock on his door.
"Who is it? I'm busy right now," said Vickvire with slight annoyance in his voice.
"It's me sir. Can I come in?" said a quiet voice from behind the door.
Vickvire put down his crudely drawn map of the land and sighed. "Who is it? Ah never mind, come in."
The door opened and in came a young fellow who stood in the door's Shadow.
"Oh it's you," said Vickvire trying to remember his name. "You're the one with no name, right?" Before the person in the door's Shadow could answer, Vickvire started talking. "Well, what is it that you need? Are we under attack? New recruits? Fresh supplies? The Turtle Mascots Arrived?"
"actually umm..." the person in the door's Shadow hesitated, "i want to know what an erotic wukie is."
Vickvire just stared at him. He wasn't sure how to explain it since he himself had never had anything interesting happen to him downstairs. He looked around the room and started trying to explain. "Well, umm, you see. Umm, well it's obviously a Wookie wearing some kind of leather and..."
The person in the door's Shadow interrupted. "do they lyke pie?"
"What? I don't know. Why do you ask?" questioned Vickvire with a confused look on this face.
"well i like pie and I tought maybe an erotic wookie and i could maybe get together and eat some..." said the person in the door's Shadow.
There was a burst of laughter outside the room. Sloughfoxy came around the corner still laughing hysterically. He almost fell to the floor from the pain in his sides. "What are you doing Tex?" asked Vickvire in an angry voice
Forcing himself to stop laughing, Tex managed to talk.
"That ther whas funny, nub. Ya gotta admit it." said Sloughfoxy as he started to chuckle again.
"Well I was about to explain it to him..." started Vickvire until he was cut out by Sloughfoxy.
"Ken ya? You ain't 'ad any "luck" with anyone of either sahux and..."
"Hey! What the heck is that about! You don't know anything about that!" screamed Vickvire with anger.
Sloughfoxy starting laughing. In truth, he was right. Vickvire never did get "lucky" with anyone. The story about him and his wife is a long one, too long to tell actually, the only time he had attempted was after thirty seven juri juices. In the end the barkeep committed suicide rather then have him continue. Vickvire sat there, face as red as red can be. In fact, Vickvire had to become a Gynecologist just to get to second base. Sloughfoxy took the person in the door's Shadow by the shoulder and started explaining everything to him as he asked, “does it invallv pie?” Vickvire couldn't believe what just happened to him.
The next morning, everyone got ready to go to a special place Vickvire had rented for them to train in.
"I want to see what you guys are capable of. To do so, I've rented a small arena for us to use for a couple hours." announced Vickvire as he came walking out of his room.
"Question! How exactly did you pay the person to rent this arena?" asked ShOvEl.
"Well I had to make a deal with him. He said he would really like to see a sight he wouldn't believe." laughed Vickvire.
At that moment, Sloughfoxy came through the front door of their hut. He was wearing a bright pink dress with the words "Slave Princess Sally" written on the front. His arm was being held by the owner of the arena, who had a big smile on his face.
"My, my Vick, you weren't kidding when you said you would outdo everyone that has tried to impress me. You can have the arena for the rest of the day." said the owner in a low, husky voice.
Everyone in the room burst out laughing and couldn't stop.
The man near ShOvEl's Shadow stopped to try and talk. "Hey Tex, about what you told me yesterday..."
"You say one more word, nub, and I'll rip yer gut outta yer throat then put it back in via the place I mentioned," said Sloughfoxy in a low, menacing voice.
After the laughter had stopped and both the arena owner and Sloughfoxy had left, the group headed over to the arena. The arena was one of the largest ever created at that time, enough to seat 20,000 people. Many famous battles happened in this arena, including the one where Bill Franklin Von Stinkleberg had beaten Akmed Shabaz Jenkins in a joust with turtles and where the Noble Sir Biggly Wiggly defeated Baron Siesta Alot with a feather duster.
Upon entering the arena, Vickvire set up the first match eager to see what his men could do.
"First off, I'm going to do a team match. How about K.A.L. and ShOvEl against Strange and Hero. I'll be watching from over there," said Vickvire, pointing to where the king and queen normally sit…naturally he assumed the seat of the latter.
Once everyone had gotten ready to fight, Vickvire started the match. All of a sudden, ShOvEl fell to the ground and started twitching.
"What's wrong with you?" K.A.L. asked hastily.
"My dial-up isn't working." said ShOvEl trying to get up. However, his legs looked like jelly, and he kept falling back down.
"Frig! Friggin' frig! Friggin' friggity frig! FRIG!" screamed K.A.L.
This frustration fueled K.A.L. and he went on to completely dominate both Strange and Hero using only his pinkie finger. Strange came out of the rubble caused by K.A.L. and threw his helmet down…he was lucky it was K.A.L.’s off hand finger.
"He was hacking! Friggin' hacker! I hate all of you! I hope you all die!" shouted Strange.
"[+37 0\/312 17." said Hero. Vickvire started getting a headache soon after. Vickvire wasn't keeping up on his reading of Leet for Dummies book…or his Leet for Dummies for Dummies.
After many fights, Vickvire was impressed at the skill his soldiers contained...well some of them….okay half. Alright…he was proud of K.A.L. and the rest were clowns.
When it was nearing the end of the day, a man with an enormous box came for Vickvire; it barely fit inside the arena’s gates.
"Is there a Vickvire here?" shouted the delivery man. "I have a package for him."
Vickvire looked over and excitement completely took over him. Jumping up on down from two to two he cried his voice getting higher by the word, “Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! It's here! Thank you so much!"
"No problem. I just need you to sign a few things." said the man.
"Sure, just say where." said Vickvire grabbing a pen.
The delivery man started. "Ok, put your name here... name here, printed... initials here... birth father and mother here... yes or no to owning a license here... wear a hat made by this company for a year and a half here... allow squirrels to invade your home and delete your stuff…ok, we’re all set."
"Thanks." said Vickvire.
Vickvire got the box into the arena and called everyone to him. Everyone had an astonished look on the face due to the size of the box.
"Everyone, I have made special order for us. I have gotten us an AT-ST, also known as a chicken walker. It will absolutly blow those ~STICK~ Commandos apart." said Vickvire proudly as he ripped open the duct-taped package with delight.
"I dunno. Kinda looks like an ostrich." said Strange when it was assembled.
"What? Well it's called a chicken walker." said Vickvire.
"I still say it's an ostrich." replied Strange.
"Well it's called a chicken walker!" shouted Vickvire.
“I think it’s an Emu,” The Shadow lurking beneath it commented.
“Nobody cares!” Vickvire and Strange shouted at the same time.
Strange just looked at him and Vickvire turned around. "Ostrich..." said Strange just as Vickvire had finished turning around.
________________________________________________________________________________________________________
On an edge of one of the higher points of the arena, an unknown man and another unknown man sat looking at Vickvire and his group through telescopes.
"No?" Asked the unknown man.
"I'm not sure. Looks like an ostrich…or an emu," said Piper.
The next morning, the group got ready to leave. Vickvire had stayed up all night planning on where they would go. When they were just about to leave the hut, Vickvire spotted a group of people walking towards them. The unknown group consisted of what looked like season warriors. They carried pikes and long spears. This group approached Vickvire, who was trying to hide his trembling legs.
"C-Can I help you guys?" asked Vickvire shaking as if he had found out that the worm he had swallowed as a child was slowly growing inside his appendix and was going to burst out of his chest anytime….but that didn’t come for another week or so…
Chapter iv - The brewing of a storm-thing
"he-y.....gu......ys......ho...w........r......u......" - SpAdE
With a now considerable force under his command, Vickvire planned on their next move. While sitting in a separate room away from everyone, Vickvire heard a knock on his door.
"Who is it? I'm busy right now," said Vickvire with slight annoyance in his voice.
"It's me sir. Can I come in?" said a quiet voice from behind the door.
Vickvire put down his crudely drawn map of the land and sighed. "Who is it? Ah never mind, come in."
The door opened and in came a young fellow who stood in the door's Shadow.
"Oh it's you," said Vickvire trying to remember his name. "You're the one with no name, right?" Before the person in the door's Shadow could answer, Vickvire started talking. "Well, what is it that you need? Are we under attack? New recruits? Fresh supplies? The Turtle Mascots Arrived?"
"actually umm..." the person in the door's Shadow hesitated, "i want to know what an erotic wukie is."
Vickvire just stared at him. He wasn't sure how to explain it since he himself had never had anything interesting happen to him downstairs. He looked around the room and started trying to explain. "Well, umm, you see. Umm, well it's obviously a Wookie wearing some kind of leather and..."
The person in the door's Shadow interrupted. "do they lyke pie?"
"What? I don't know. Why do you ask?" questioned Vickvire with a confused look on this face.
"well i like pie and I tought maybe an erotic wookie and i could maybe get together and eat some..." said the person in the door's Shadow.
There was a burst of laughter outside the room. Sloughfoxy came around the corner still laughing hysterically. He almost fell to the floor from the pain in his sides. "What are you doing Tex?" asked Vickvire in an angry voice
Forcing himself to stop laughing, Tex managed to talk.
"That ther whas funny, nub. Ya gotta admit it." said Sloughfoxy as he started to chuckle again.
"Well I was about to explain it to him..." started Vickvire until he was cut out by Sloughfoxy.
"Ken ya? You ain't 'ad any "luck" with anyone of either sahux and..."
"Hey! What the heck is that about! You don't know anything about that!" screamed Vickvire with anger.
Sloughfoxy starting laughing. In truth, he was right. Vickvire never did get "lucky" with anyone. The story about him and his wife is a long one, too long to tell actually, the only time he had attempted was after thirty seven juri juices. In the end the barkeep committed suicide rather then have him continue. Vickvire sat there, face as red as red can be. In fact, Vickvire had to become a Gynecologist just to get to second base. Sloughfoxy took the person in the door's Shadow by the shoulder and started explaining everything to him as he asked, “does it invallv pie?” Vickvire couldn't believe what just happened to him.
The next morning, everyone got ready to go to a special place Vickvire had rented for them to train in.
"I want to see what you guys are capable of. To do so, I've rented a small arena for us to use for a couple hours." announced Vickvire as he came walking out of his room.
"Question! How exactly did you pay the person to rent this arena?" asked ShOvEl.
"Well I had to make a deal with him. He said he would really like to see a sight he wouldn't believe." laughed Vickvire.
At that moment, Sloughfoxy came through the front door of their hut. He was wearing a bright pink dress with the words "Slave Princess Sally" written on the front. His arm was being held by the owner of the arena, who had a big smile on his face.
"My, my Vick, you weren't kidding when you said you would outdo everyone that has tried to impress me. You can have the arena for the rest of the day." said the owner in a low, husky voice.
Everyone in the room burst out laughing and couldn't stop.
The man near ShOvEl's Shadow stopped to try and talk. "Hey Tex, about what you told me yesterday..."
"You say one more word, nub, and I'll rip yer gut outta yer throat then put it back in via the place I mentioned," said Sloughfoxy in a low, menacing voice.
After the laughter had stopped and both the arena owner and Sloughfoxy had left, the group headed over to the arena. The arena was one of the largest ever created at that time, enough to seat 20,000 people. Many famous battles happened in this arena, including the one where Bill Franklin Von Stinkleberg had beaten Akmed Shabaz Jenkins in a joust with turtles and where the Noble Sir Biggly Wiggly defeated Baron Siesta Alot with a feather duster.
Upon entering the arena, Vickvire set up the first match eager to see what his men could do.
"First off, I'm going to do a team match. How about K.A.L. and ShOvEl against Strange and Hero. I'll be watching from over there," said Vickvire, pointing to where the king and queen normally sit…naturally he assumed the seat of the latter.
Once everyone had gotten ready to fight, Vickvire started the match. All of a sudden, ShOvEl fell to the ground and started twitching.
"What's wrong with you?" K.A.L. asked hastily.
"My dial-up isn't working." said ShOvEl trying to get up. However, his legs looked like jelly, and he kept falling back down.
"Frig! Friggin' frig! Friggin' friggity frig! FRIG!" screamed K.A.L.
This frustration fueled K.A.L. and he went on to completely dominate both Strange and Hero using only his pinkie finger. Strange came out of the rubble caused by K.A.L. and threw his helmet down…he was lucky it was K.A.L.’s off hand finger.
"He was hacking! Friggin' hacker! I hate all of you! I hope you all die!" shouted Strange.
"[+37 0\/312 17." said Hero. Vickvire started getting a headache soon after. Vickvire wasn't keeping up on his reading of Leet for Dummies book…or his Leet for Dummies for Dummies.
After many fights, Vickvire was impressed at the skill his soldiers contained...well some of them….okay half. Alright…he was proud of K.A.L. and the rest were clowns.
When it was nearing the end of the day, a man with an enormous box came for Vickvire; it barely fit inside the arena’s gates.
"Is there a Vickvire here?" shouted the delivery man. "I have a package for him."
Vickvire looked over and excitement completely took over him. Jumping up on down from two to two he cried his voice getting higher by the word, “Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! It's here! Thank you so much!"
"No problem. I just need you to sign a few things." said the man.
"Sure, just say where." said Vickvire grabbing a pen.
The delivery man started. "Ok, put your name here... name here, printed... initials here... birth father and mother here... yes or no to owning a license here... wear a hat made by this company for a year and a half here... allow squirrels to invade your home and delete your stuff…ok, we’re all set."
"Thanks." said Vickvire.
Vickvire got the box into the arena and called everyone to him. Everyone had an astonished look on the face due to the size of the box.
"Everyone, I have made special order for us. I have gotten us an AT-ST, also known as a chicken walker. It will absolutly blow those ~STICK~ Commandos apart." said Vickvire proudly as he ripped open the duct-taped package with delight.
"I dunno. Kinda looks like an ostrich." said Strange when it was assembled.
"What? Well it's called a chicken walker." said Vickvire.
"I still say it's an ostrich." replied Strange.
"Well it's called a chicken walker!" shouted Vickvire.
“I think it’s an Emu,” The Shadow lurking beneath it commented.
“Nobody cares!” Vickvire and Strange shouted at the same time.
Strange just looked at him and Vickvire turned around. "Ostrich..." said Strange just as Vickvire had finished turning around.
________________________________________________________________________________________________________
On an edge of one of the higher points of the arena, an unknown man and another unknown man sat looking at Vickvire and his group through telescopes.
"No?" Asked the unknown man.
"I'm not sure. Looks like an ostrich…or an emu," said Piper.
The next morning, the group got ready to leave. Vickvire had stayed up all night planning on where they would go. When they were just about to leave the hut, Vickvire spotted a group of people walking towards them. The unknown group consisted of what looked like season warriors. They carried pikes and long spears. This group approached Vickvire, who was trying to hide his trembling legs.
"C-Can I help you guys?" asked Vickvire shaking as if he had found out that the worm he had swallowed as a child was slowly growing inside his appendix and was going to burst out of his chest anytime….but that didn’t come for another week or so…
